Suburbia Sensei taught Humbleplot: “When you scrub toilets keep your mouth closed.” Bent over with the brush in order to swirl smear stain or determined chunk cling, inevitably there will be a splash, and you don’t want errant drops flying to your lips, teeth or tongue. Humbleplot stared down at the browning water, lips tightly sealed, flushed, added cleanser, swirled again to clear the brush, allowed the soapy liquid to sit for a moment, properly scented with lavender, and then flushed again. The suburban household cannot always afford professional house cleaners and invariably there’s a porcelain-cling emergency. Should probably wear protective goggles too. An apron or naked followed by a shower.